The first letter. Week 4.

Dear Baby,

And so this begins.
I guess I could start by crowning you with a name more personal than Baby. A nick name. A term of endearment. Something special between us and Daddy. But all I can think of is Baby. As in, "Holy crap, were going to have a BABY!!"
I'm currently wondering if this excitement/shock is going to wear off before your arrival. I suppose by then it will be replaced with a completely new version.

I want you to know, first and foremost, how much you are wanted and loved already. There are moments in between those of utter shock and disbelief, that are filled with such gratitude and awe. Moments that bring tears to my eyes. Moments in which I look away quickly, so as to not prompt Daddy's own tears. Between you and me, I'm not sure he'd stop crying if he let himself start. Yes, Baby. Gratitude. Awe. Humility.

Gratitude. I'm grateful for you. Grateful for the life that is to be. Grateful beyond my ability to describe. You know, Daddy and I have been thinking about you for so long. Loving you even before you were you. Uncertain when or how you would come into our lives. Just hoping. Loving. Allowing ourselves to love something, whose existence we had no guarantee of. But now you're here. You're you. You exist. And you, Baby, are incredibly loved.

Awe. According to the ever handy dictionary.com: "An overwhelming feeling of reverence".
That is a pretty accurate summary. Reverence for this process. This creation of life. This miracle. That I, along with the love of my life, get to experience. Again, my words fail.

Humility. Let's talk about that one for a second. I am so incredibly humbled to be blessed to this degree. To be able to write this letter. As I have so often dreamed about. As others have dreamed about. And as so many are still dreaming about. Yet somehow, someway, today - I get to write. I am overwhelmed with humility.

Wow. For something as tiny as a single poppy seed, you are certainly quite skilled at evoking an array of emotions. Something tells me that I am in BIG trouble.

I love you, Baby.

Until then,
Mommy