I'm really going to have a baby.

I had a routine appt today. An appt that held lots of emotion. First off, this very new and very young nurse tried to hear the heartbeat via doppler.

She was unsuccessful. So she called in another nurse. Who also was unsuccessful. A THIRD nurse joined them. They all then proceeded to fondle my belly fat. Digging around for a heartbeat.

Now in hindsight, I can laugh at that image. But in the moment, there was panic. Intellectually, I know that 10 weeks 4 days is very early for a doppler. And that I have lots of padding around my ute, making it even more difficult. But this morning as I lay on that table, looking at the bright overhead lights, fear overcame all logic.

So the nurses excuse themselves from that room. At which time, I look at Mr. J. Tears in my eyes. He says to me. "Baby, you're fine. Munchkin is fine. We're all fine".

The nurse comes back in and sends me to ultrasound. They just want to make sure things are okay. More doubt ensues.

I get to ultrasound....and BAM. Heartbeat. Beautiful and strong. 170 beats per minute.

It was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. And in that moment an even greater understanding of motherhood was realized. In that moment, it became clearer than ever before that I am having a baby. It feels great.


We're fine. I'm fine. Munchkin is fine. We're all fine.