I wanna be next.

I love hearing about BFP's. It makes me happy. I just want it to be my own BFP. I know that kinda goes without saying when ttc, but I feel better "saying" it. So. There it is. Whoop.

I'm a psycho.

Confession: I have this completely unfounded, completely paralyzing fear that I'm going to have trouble getting pregnant. No basis, no history of anything that would remotely hint at that, just me in all my craziness. It's starting to become a problem. I need a 12 step program for chart obsession.

I'm not pregnant

So, now I am officially "that girl". On to the next cycle. Actually ,I'm already there. In fact, I am hopefully about to O. Yes, that's right. It has taken me a good 2 weeks to admit to myself, on my own blog, that probably no one in the universe will ever read, that I am...that girl.
I'll probably be "that girl" until I'm really pregnant. Although I agree to try. To try not to obsess over every little thing this month. In my defense, I totally had what looked to be the beginnings of a triphasic chart. And what could have been a beautiful implantaion dip. Of course, I know that neither of these things necessarily means a damn thing. Especially when these things are not truly these things. So, here's to being slightly less "that girl".
Oh, I also am trying Robitussin this cycle. Well, Mucinex. I can't stand liquid meds. Anyway, I'm a little scant in the CM dept. This is suppose to help with that. We shall see.

I have a secret

I think I'm pregnant. I'm scared to say it outloud. Scared of being "that girl". Scared of being wrong. But let's just say it won't surprise me if it's true. Of course, I realize that I have nothing to base that upon. I mean, my chart looks good, but that could change at any moment. Don't have any batshit crazy phantom symptoms...just a feeling. That may turn out to be based soley upon hope. I get that. But I just had to say it. Somewhere. Somehow. If for no other reason than if it turns out to be true - it shall be on record. And if I'm wrong. I can delete this.

just another tequila sunrise

this post has nothing to do with either tequila or sunrise....that just popped into my head. Anyway, so on the ttc front, things are trucking along. The hubs in getting more and more excited about the whole thing. Lately, he has been waking me up in the morning with "baby, take your temp" to which i respond, "I just did. Leave me alone". A morning person, I am not. But it's cute to see him excited. Of course he's been ready, but somehow he is able to take a passive, "it'll happen when it happens" approach. Me, on the other hand, I'm temping, and touching anything I can. Which brings me to the fascinating topic of cervical mucus and even more riveting, cervical position. The latter of which, is much more difficult for me. But I believe I'm learning.
Anyway, the point is that the baby making is in full force. So we shall see, I suppose.
Other than that, this stupid weekend has flown by. Why, oh why must tomorrow be Monday already? I don't wanna...........

o happy day

I got a temp spike today. And I am stoked. So much infact, that I cannot go back to sleep. So I'm awake. And I'm thinking that perhaps I am being divinely prepared for my life as I know it to dissapear. B/C this very post officially makes me the most boring person in existance.
Happy Tuesday.

the end.

insanity

So, I'm laying in bed at 5 AM on a Sunday, and instead of being deep in dreams, I'm awake. Wondering what my temp is gonna look like when I take it.
Seriously, it's one thing to be setting an alarm on a Sunday to wake up and take your temp.
It's another thing entirely to lie there in insomnia anticipating the riveting act.
So 5:30 rolls around and I decide to go ahead and take it.
And it's not exactly what I wanted to see.
So now, I'm obsessing about that.
And when tomorrow rolls around....there will be something else.
Then the 2 week wait until I can justify peeing on a stick that will likely rear it ugly barren head.
This is stupid.
How is it that we as rowdy adolescents, we are trained to fear that we could get pregnant simply by looking at a penis.
And then, when one is all grown up and "ready"...it's such an asswhip.

the end.