Just in case you are still following

I don't blog here anymore.

I blog here now. It's more focused on surviving grief after my daughter was stillborn in 2012.

You are welcome to come on over.

So much for blogging more.

I suck. Apparently, even more than I thought. Sorry. Life has been really, really, crazy. In so many ways.
A. We're finally done with the house. Well, almost. My dumb contractors should be out of there "tomorrow". It seems it's always "tomorrow" with them.
B. Mr. J is not well. And this is something serious that I probably should talk about more. But if I don't, it will just disappear. So, right now I'm banking on that. K? K.
3. I'm losing my job in T minues 38 days.

Awesome. Perhaps I'll be back in a little bit to talk more about these. (Except for B, because I'm ignoring it out of existance.)

I'm alive.

And I'm going to try to start blogging again. I can't make any promises, though. Let's get that straight, up front. No guarantees. Here's a quick recap in the past year. Since it's been almost that long since my last post. What? Newborn life is rough. Anyway, here we go: Jude was born a mere 3 days after my last post. Bill the cervix had a little more trouble as did my BP. As stated above, newborn life is rough. But we all survived. Mr. J had a very rough bout with PPD. Which come to find out, is not that uncommon in men. But we all survived. I went back to work with lots of tears and anxiety. I nursed J until 6 months, which made me happy. We decided to move back to where I'm from to be closer to family. We've been living with my parents since November and JUST sold our house. We've found a new house and will close on it soon. I've got a new job which is challenging. Jude is about to be a year old. Mr. J is doing well. And we all survived. So here's to more survival. And hopefully more posts.

I aplogize for the lack of wit.

But here's a quick update. No more dilation! Go Bill!
And Jude is big. Measured via ultrasound at 7.5 lbs, but doc says " I think he's probably a bit bigger than that".
So officially my c/section is still on for May 5th. (Which is two weeks from tomorrow. Please insert all crazy faces and expletives here). And I have an appt next week.
But doc said, "With any valid medical excuse, come on in and we'll deliver". Like should my contractions get worse, or bleeding begin or whatever.

So, that's it.

He's definitely on his way.

I'll keep y'all posted.

35/35

I am 35 weeks pregnant today. Which under normal circumstances would mean that I have a mere 35 days to go. Hence 35/35.

But in reality, my c/section is scheduled a tad early making today 35/24.

But in the even more real reality - I may not make it to that date. Making today 35/who the fuck knows.

And that my friends has major panic potential.

Only I'm feeling pretty good about all of it. I'm not near as freaked out as I thought I would be. I'm more in awe at how surreal it all is. We finished the last two baby to-dos. Car seat and pack n play. Check. And check.

See Spike on Tuesday. Hopefully Bill (in case you haven't heard that's what I have named my cervix with some help from my friend Megan) can continue to hold his own against the tyrant in my ute.

Love y'all. See ya soon.

Because TMI is what I do best.

I thought I was having more contractions tonight.


But then I pooped.



And it went away.

How awesome is that? Says the 12 year old boy that lives inside of me.

People annoy me.

In general.

That's all.